i’m also not going to clubs / pubs to meet guys. its dirty, smelly, full of smoke and noisy. not my kind of scene.

hehe, bout small talk, i have no problem with that at all. its what i do all the time, everyday. i can talk to strangers for hours. all you have to do is ask questions:) my problem is in building a lasting relationship coz after awhile i get bored:P

And make the point of the practice of bars and clubs just that… practice. Don’t make your goal to go out and find a man on the first night. Make your goal to work on your interpersonal communication skills in a social setting. Talking to someone who you’re not attracted to at first builds up your ability to talk with someone without the intimidation of building a relationship with someone beyond just a practice session. Just scout out a guy who looks scared, apprehensive, or something like that… you know, someone that’s just as scared as you are. It helps give you something in common to start off with.

Here in the States, we don’t have the social pubs like other parts of the world have. We have bars. Drinks and standing room only with a few booths along the wall that are always taken by big groups of friends who are always coming to that bar as ‘their place.’ So it’s mostly a person standing around drinking with guys trying to hit on you. Which can be flattering, until you get the guy who thinks he’s going to get you by being persistant. You know, the one who comes off smelling of desperation and cheap cologne.

And clubs are just noisy and not condusive to talking. If you go to a club here then you’re there to dance, drink, and possibly find someone you want to take home for sloppy drunk sex. But I’m bitter about that kind of thing. Maybe it’s different in your part of the world, where ever that happens to be. Socital Norms are Culture dependant so it may be different where you’re from.

But it is definately a good idea to step out of that comfort zone. Take a ‘wingman/wingwoman’ with you if you don’t want to go alone. You know a person who will get you away from the creepy guy by pulling you away from said creepy guy and saying, “Let’s go,” and keep you from getting drunk and going home with someone by saying much the same thing. Someone to watch your back so you don’t get in a situation where you feel trapped.

But I have a hard time believing that whichever country you live in that there are no match making services. I think every culture has that. Even if you just send Grandma out on a man-hunt. And she checks with all her friends to see if they have a grandson of an appropriate age and screens them for you. I’ve had some very nice blind dates. It’s how I met First John, Second John and Ryan. My most successful relationships have been blind date-type or matchmaking situations.

actually to be honest, pubbing, clubbing helps a lot. not in the sense that you meet more men, you do, but in the sense that it’s like a classroom.

i think i’m shy when it comes to networking, making small talk with strangers. but you know, after pubbing and clubbing a bit, it’s easier now. just that i still prefer to talk a wee bit and close off. but i think it helps build the small talk skill and presentation..

yup, rynestar’s right. i’m your neighbour:P and the thing with that guy, its a crush. its totally not love. i dont even know him. i’m just so attracted him physically and with whatever shallow knowledge i haf of him:P so i’m not gonna go for it. because i refuse to be that kind of girl:)

well. i have a prejudice, but i must say, seriously, in our part of the world, (i’m pretty sure i know which country realove is from and i’m her neighbour) matchmaking sites don’t really cut it. at least i’ve not heard of any that do. men on the sites are generally pretty despo or weird or have problems assimilating in the society. so guessing from her character, i don’t think she’ll want a guy from there. she’ll be better off answering facebook msgs from playboys. haha. but then again that is an assumption on my part, and as you know assumptions make an ass out of you and me. lol.