Shitty World May 14, 2009
Posted by realove in Feelings, Life, Me, Personal, Rants, Thoughts.trackback
Isnt it? its a world where people only like you when you can offer them something. its a world where when you’re up, you have all the friends in the world. but when you’re down, not even your closest friend wants to be near you . its a world where nobody wants to know about your success from jealousy and nobody wants to know about your failures from apathy. its a world where you can give your heart and soul and body to the only guy you’ve ever loved with all your heart for 9 whole years and fuck, he gives you some shitty lie about not being able to handle being in a relationship then starts a new relationship 2 months later. its a world where evil bosses get their way just because they have strong political support. its a world where when you tell someone your problems because you couldnt hold it in anymore, they nod their head in total understanding then find an excuse to keep their distance. its a world where there is nothing good in people anymore. its a world where we are no different than animals. its a world where you are born alone and will die alone. its a world where i will never meet that special someone because i dont think i have it in me anymore to let someone see my inner self. because everytime someone gets a glimpse of the not so happy me, that someone does a 180 degree turn. why is that? because its a shitty world.
the reason for this totally unreasonable rant (because the world is not really as bad as ALL that) is because when a 2 friends (a couple) messaged me today i joked that i was depressed. and she didnt fucking reply. not a peep. that was 2 hours ago. and from enjoying some time alone, watching a nice movie, i became down. unreasonable. yes. i blame hormones. my period is 4 days overdue. fuck.
and i cannot leave this unsaid. i have wonderful parents, a mega supportive sister and an amazing brother who gives me full support as they know how. so my world’s not that bad. having just my family is more than i can ask for.
thikak.
bah. the friend’s either figuring how to reply or forgot. give her time. she;ll come around.
and hugs!
I remember when First John left me. All the friends went with him. No one called or came over to see how I was doing. No one called and asked me out to dinner or to a movie. I was left utterly alone to grieve in deafening silence. It was horrible. I lost an average of a pound a day for 30 days and I slept about 20 hours of every day. So I feel your pain. And yet, I’m still here. I’m not sure how, but I am. The world moved on and eventually so did I. Wounded and limping but moving. Eh, seems to be the way of the world. No words of wisdom from me this time. The world is a sucky place. But it’s all that we’ve got.