Insights April 25, 2009
Posted by realove in Feelings, Life, Personal, Thoughts.trackback
i fall very easily for any guy and can only see their good points, i glaze over their bad points with chocolate icing. because, i am desperate for a guy, any guy. why? because i am panicked that i wont find someone to love forever and will always be alone. because i crave the physical as well as emotional intimacy of having someone that is exclusively mine.
all the guys i’ve fallen for so far have not been really right for me but i just ignore their bad points by telling myself that nobody is perfect. i know what i want in a guy but am too afraid to wait for exactly the right one because i think that there’s no such guy in the world and if i dont accept watever guy who falls for me, i might regret when i am left alone, on the shelf, an old virgin.
i have a very low self esteem of my physical self and think that i’m not good enough for any guy. even if i am in a relationship, i’ll probably be worried most of the time that he will leave me the moment he meets someone better.
“i crave the physical as well as emotional intimacy of having someone that is exclusively mine”
You can have physical or emotional intimacy from someone that isn’t exclusively yours. Well, for safety’s sake, you’d want someone whom you’re physical with to yours exclusively. But that’s hard to find in a straight man. It just is. Emotional intimacy can come from a good friend that you tell all your dark secrets to. Someone you share things with that no one else gets to know.
“if i dont accept watever guy who falls for me, i might regret when i am left alone, on the shelf, an old virgin.”
You know, you might be surprised how often we find someone perfect for us at the time but we outgrow them or they outgrow us. So don’t think that there is just one and only one real love out there for you. What’s right for you today may not be right for you tomorrow. Your time will come around. You may just need to change your standards. You might be surprised that making your standards higher could be just want needs to be done to give you the confidence that catches a guy’s eye. Then you can jump on him and ride him all the way to where ever it is that you’re going.
“i’ll probably be worried most of the time that he will leave me the moment he meets someone better.”
I think we all have this worry. But what it comes down to is needs. As long as you meet all the person’s needs, whatever they need, then you won’t have them looking elsewhere for it. And I’m talking about needs, not wants. No one ever strayed because of a want. It’s always been a need. There are always 2 victims in a divorce or breakup. The one being broken up with and the person’s who’s needs didn’t get met. It’s as simple as that. So you can worry all you want but it won’t do anything to help anyone. Just be who you are. Give all you have to give and hope you get it in return.
i’m in the same fix as you. if i like the guy, i’d really just gloss over the lousy points or tell myself hey that’s cute or say yah i can take it.
but when i think about it carefully, i realise that i can’t take it and that’s not compatible with me. soooo. i guess what i’m trying to say is that you’re not alone..
nah. i think the time is just not right yet. don’t worry about it. let fate happen. you’re still YOUNG!!!!! hello!
stop having that low esteem then. you’re a great girl. have faith in yourself. and if he does stray then get another one. we girls should not have to be the “wei qu” ones to take in all that nonsense! for jman, that means something to the effect of victimised.
happy holidays in taiwan:) enjoy yrself maximum. live like there’s no tmw:D