Living Life Bravely

one of my colleagues made a mistake with a patient with a heart attack. and when i noticed the mistake, as the man was alright, i just let him know about it. because i din want him to repeat the mistake again. i wasnt even threatening when i told him, because it was an understandable mistake. but when i told him about it. he said he din make a mistake, he managed the person that way on purpose and gave some bullshit story. but the nurse in charge had already told me about it, so when i mentioned that i knew the real scenario, he suddenly got very angry and sensitive and he said you wait til you are oncall then you will know.

sigh… its dangerous working with people like him. i’ve been working with him for 1 1/2 yrs now and he’s gotten me into a lot of trouble before. he was also previously from my old work place. but i though now that we aren’t interns anymore, he might have started being responsible and changed. but he’s still the same old shit. i feel kinda down. what with the devil boss, her pet spy, now him. but the rest of the staff are wonderful people. i’m even joining them for badminton on tuesdays. i guess no where can be perfect. but these people are just plain dangerous and mood and life-spoiling:P

i feel so much better about this place. i went to church today and almost instantly, made new friends. an old retired couple and another couple who’s gonna retire soon. we went for breakfast after church and i ended up making arrangements to learn tennis together with the 19 y.o daughter of the younger couple. we’ll be coached by the retired man at a nice resort club that they’re members of. wow. i also learnt that there’s yoga classes available here. yeah! and my apartment is great. the view is great. i get to see the sunrise every morning. i can see the church from my balcony as well as the mountains in the distance. the air is wonderful. there’s no pollution. and i bought a luxurious reclining chair that’s amazingly comfortable. yeah!

the devil’s family is still there. but its only at work. i’ll just do what i can and the moment i go out of the hospital, i will just take a deep breath, and leave everything at the gate. but i’m still adamant about studying to pass the exam in september. its what i want. 

btw j-man, haha… yup i do attract crap. but just as much as other normal people. i have a reasonably wonderful life actually. its just that i tend to blog when i’m at my downest and horriblelest because its therapeutic for me. but thanks for your moral support:D

God I feel so much like shit. I hate the bitch pengarah and her pet dog. I hate I hate I hate. I just hate her so much. And I hate the fact that its so so busy. I hate the fact that its busy because she takes people away to do extremely stupid stupid things. I hate I hate I hate. Everything boils down to her. Everything boils down to her pet bitch. I hate both of them and I want to poison them. I want to beat them up. If it wasn’t for this two, bt gajah would be busy but it wouldn’t be a hell place. Its hell because the devil’s wife and his daughter is here. Please transfer her. Please. Or transfer me. Please. Or at least give me the energy and time to study so that I can pass my part 1 and get out of here. Please.

What i cant change:

1. I cant change her or her pet dog.

2. I cant change to busyness of things.

What I can do:

1. Study during calls, after work, before work. Make studying a hobby, a quest for knowledge, as well as a goal, my passport out of hell.

2. Don’t let her affect you. Just do your best. If she’s gonna bitch, then bitch la bitch.

This was written last thursday, at the lowest down of my down. i’m currently much better:) but seriously, the boss is a DEVIL. and the worst is, i have to work closely with a colleague who is a real snake. she is lazy, slow, she runs to the boss to complain about everything and basically is her informer. on my 3rd day, this snake has already complained about me to the boss and to the other colleagues. wat a bitch.

but i’ve decided that i cant live like this. and since i cant go anywhere anytime soon, i’ll just do what i can in the hospital, focus on my patients, avoid these 2 people. and when i leave the hospital, i leave it all at the gate. at home, i will focus on my studies and my personal life. So there.

i’ve finished moving in. resting now after a hard day’s work. i feel so much better now compared to yesterday:)

i’m excited about starting my new job tmw. excited about starting my new life:)

Blast all those ‘friends’ who were not even willing to help me move. Blast the useless guy who when i was moving, just hid in his room so that he did not have to help, did not even come out to say goodbye. that’s just plain rude. Blast all guys.  

i have hope for the future.