Living Life Bravely

i dont know what to feel. after the last post about cleansing him out of my life few days ago, i was so depressed. but i knew it was going to become better. it always was like that. the initial few days would be hell, then things just get better… then the next night itself, while i was working the night shift, i found that he was working the night shift with me! seems he’s helping out a fren. and tht night, he messaged me asking how i am etc. invited me for a middle-of-the-night tea. aarrgghh… of course i accepted. how could i have said no. i’m in his pockets=( i kept praying to God, please let him be interested in me. but if he’s not, please let him stop contacting me! but just when i finish praying that, not half hour after that, he messaged. so what does this mean? that he’s interested? or God is playing tricks on me? mark my words, few days from now, i will be back at square 1 whre i’m praying to God again not to torture me like this. its so much more painful this way=( i like him so much. and sometimes i think he does to. but sometimes i think he just thinks of me as an older sister (i’m 1 yr older btw). i just wish he would say something. but he’s not the kind who would. he is even akward when we’re together. believe it or not, he’s at his best and funniest on sms. and how can i say something? what if i’m wrong and that he only thinks of me as a fren? it would wreck our frenship. and i really dont want that. i really dont.  i really dono what to do or think or feel about this.