Living Life Bravely

today i my boss scolded me for something dat is not my fault and i just walked away and left him standing there. in front of other bosses. fuck. i wish i had held my temper. i hate my fucking quick temper. and i’m geting a bad name for it. everyday ppl ask me if i am postcall. do i look that haggard and tired? i guess the truth is i do. i look old and tired n haggard. and that my frens, is the reason i’m alone. mebe my only chance of getting a bf is to get a blind man. nobody esp no guy wud want to look at a tired sad face everyday. wat do i do? i was born with a naturally sad face i think. does that mean i was born to be alone coz i’m ugly? i guess so too. i feel so depressed. i tot it was coz i got myself into trouble with de bosses again. but the main reason as usual boils down to the alwiz under the surface fact that im alone. i still think of my useless ex everyday. i wish i didnt. it hurts so much. i feel so alone. no one is there for me. i sound so pathetic. sound so weak. but the fact is i am weak. im so tired of being alone. everyone else is pairing up. and i kept thinking why. and the obvious fact is me. there is sthing so wrong with me. mentally im unstable. physically i’m a natural wallflower.

fuck it. how do i make myself brighter? it takes so much energy. i am so jealous of ppl who are bright. im so jealous of naturally beautiful ppl. i guess i will try tmw. but not today. today i just want to wallow in self pity. i feel better now after typing down all my ugly negative thoughts for all the world to laugh at.